Becoming That Girl

Becoming “That Girl” is possible for everyone. There isn’t a definite criterion you have to meet – everyone operates at a different scale. You don’t have to have an expensive gym membership or own an expensive handbag to be “That Girl“. Being “That Girl” involves leveling up in your life however you can and being your best self, unapologetically. Being the happiest with all of your achievements, and not comparing yourself with others. As long as you’re feeling like you’re slaying on your own terms, it’s still a big W.

Life is about experiencing the W’s and L’s. For years, I’ve quoted Big Sean’s Bounce Back:

Part of winning is taking a loss, taking an L. You measure a character of a person of how they bounce back, how they handle themselves after that. That’s the true measurement of a champion. How are they gonna take that L? Is it gonna tear you down? Or is it gonna make it come back even harder?

Of course, I’ve experienced a lot of obstacles and losses. Just because I don’t share them publicly doesn’t mean I don’t experience them. I take my losses and come back a better person than I was before. I became That Girl under my own terms.

Live Your Life, Unapologetically

You do you, boo! Do what makes you happy. You don’t need other people telling you how to be happy. You also don’t need validation from other people. Yes, you’re doing good enough. If you’re not, keep striving for greatness. You know yourself best; be fair to yourself and tend to your needs appropriately.

Your happiness contributes to your overall success, and how you got there. I worked hard to treat myself however I want (within reason because I keep holding back on that $5000 Chanel bag). Inflation is probably the biggest contributing factor, but I’m thankful to be where I am today, professionally.

Organize Your Life

Establish a routine, your goals, and your priorities. It’s important to know what you want to achieve. This will allow you to take the appropriate steps in your everyday life. How will you get that promotion or that pay increase? Do you have any disorganization in your life? Tackle them, one at a time.

I love using planners and notebooks to organize my life; planning out my tasks for the day and days after. My routine on Sundays consists of going to SoulCycle in the morning and then grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods after. Going back to earlier’s statement, although I can afford a Chanel bag, I want to buy a home soon, and that $5000 would be useful for furnishings/appliances.

Cultivating Positive Relations

You need to be the energy you want to attract. If you’re the type who hypes people up, keeps hustling for that grind, and do your best, surround yourself with similar people. That way, all of you will rise up together while keeping the positive energy flowing. This involves managing expectations from adult friendships.

Many years later, I realized what I want from adult friendships is mutual support and seeing my friends strive. Sharing the good news, questions, obstacles, and genuine thoughts. It’s not about buying friendships. In the past couple of years, I had to really look at my relations with people and weed out those with no genuine intentions. Betrayal hurts. Though, there are symptoms early on to look out for.

Feel Good About Yourself

Do what makes you feel good about yourself. If it means dressing up or down, fulfilling your cravings, getting that workout in, or even journaling, do it! Take care of yourself. Get that pampering session in! Self-care is so important, especially during today’s era of anxiety-inducing events. Build yourself so you have the strength to strive forward.

I found myself struggling last year, especially in a professional setting. Every day was a struggle. Towards the end of the year, I decided to start planning for a career upgrade. Although the stars aligned, I still had to battle some meteorites along the way. I had two pressing offers but had to pick what made the most sense for me. I forced myself to go through the steps above to realign myself to being That Girl. Talk about bouncing back from that L!

Where to Start

If you’re in need of inspiration, there are plenty of places to start!

1. Pinterest – Visual imagery can start boosting your imagination and motivate you.
2. Health is Wealth – Are you exercising and fueling your body with the proper nutrition?
3. Goals and Journaling – How are you documenting your thoughts?
4. Meet-Ups – There are plenty of networking opportunities! I’ve used Vina to start female friendships.
5. Take Care of Yourself – This doesn’t need to be expensive. You can pamper yourself at home.
6. Better Yourself – How are you learning and educating yourself?
7. Good Vibes Only – Cut off any negativity in your life.
8. Find Happiness – Confirm what makes you happy. Outline steps to get there.
9. Why Are you Doing This – Reflect on why you’re becoming That Girl. It’s obvious, but still.
10. Do Not Compare – Everyone is at a different stage in their life.